home
***
CD-ROM
|
disk
|
FTP
|
other
***
search
/
Family Fun
/
Family Fun.iso
/
joke2
/
xcrpts7
/
xcrpts7.txt
Wrap
Text File
|
1992-02-20
|
4KB
|
171 lines
┌───────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ │
│ │
│ *EXCERPTS* │
│ │
│ News you may NOT have read. │
│ │
│ Changed Every Saturday │
│ │
└───────────────────────────────────────────────┘
Stonehenge BBS [415] 479-8328
.
AFTER ALL, IT IS CHRISTMAS
Police in Lincoln, Pennsylvania have been hassled by an intruder
breaking into their radio airwaves playing Christmas carols on a kazoo,
whistling and belching.
IT'S ALL IN A NAME
People in Tampa, Florida petitioned the court to have a dog put to
death who has severely bitten three people. The dogs name is Hitler.
SUPPLIMENTAL INCOME?
In Tampa, Florida, a man dressed in a toll takers uniform collected
motorists money on the Crosstown Expressway for several hours before being
detected.
SOARING NUDE
The Hidden Valley Nudist Resort near Dawsonville, Georgia, celebrated
its 1988 National Nude Week by having eight male nude skydivers jump out of a
plane and land in a nearby field.
HO! HO! HO!....BELL RINGER PUNCHED OUT
Guess this guy was a Christmas stress-out..Just couldn't stand hearing
the ringing of that Goddam Salvation Army bell any longer. A still
un-apprehended 30-year-old male is being sought for attacking two Salvation
Army bell ringers in Eureka, Ca. Ella Lowrey, one of the ringers said the
man approached the kettle like he was going to make a donation. "Then he did
a number on my eye."
I WAS KIDNAPPED, ROBBED, MY THROAT CUT, AND I WAS LEFT TO DIE
William F. Francis of Silicon Valley slipped a note, written in his
blood, saying "S.O.S." through a slot of the trunk of his car. Passerbys
noticed the note and called authorities who found Francis in the trunk
bleeding from his wounds. The whole affair was proven phoney. Francis said
he did it to cover up a two day binge, not keeping business appointments.
BUT MOM, IT'S FUN!
A dwarf known as "Mister Skyman" wants the French government to lift its
ban on dwarf tossing so he can have his job back. The 4-foot Mister Skyman,
whose real name is Manuel Wackenheim, was employed to be a human projectile.
He dressed in a jumpsuit and a crash helmet with bar customers seeing who
could fling him the farthest into an inflatable mattress.
EVER HEAR OF SIDNEY MOBELL?
He's the S.F. jeweler who thinks "big" when it comes to jeweled
creations. His latest is a jeweled mailbox with 274 gems totaling 77 carats
and you can buy it for the low price of $250,000.
Some of Sid's other creations:
Jeweled Toilet Seat $240,000.
Diamond Studded Frisbee ?
Gold Plated, Jeweled Gum Machine $170,000
Mouse Trap. The cheese is a Diamond $12,000
Hour Glass. 200 tiny diamonds replaces sand ?
Mobell considers all a work of art and expects them to be in museums.
FREEZE!
In Sacramento, Frank DeVol, 50, was sitting in his truck when he
witnessed a bank holdup where one culpret tried to escape on a bicycle.
Frank had a gun in his car, poked it out of the window, and told the man
to lie face down on the pavement. He said he learned this technique from
the 1959 movie, "The FBI Story."
The End
_____________________________________________________________________________
Wanted: Textfiles. -Humorous-Expose'-How To-Supernatural-Oddball. Anything
that will arouse a readers curiosity. No anarchy/hacking.
STONEHENGE BBS San Rafael, Ca. [415] 479-8328
______________________________________________________________________________